“The Lord said… ‘I will give you the tablets’” (Exod. 24:12)

** UPDATE: It’s called the iPad. No, it’s not a feminine product and the darn thing doesn’t have wings. In fact, MSNBC is not impressed. **

On Wednesday, Steve Jobs will once again come off the mountain on which God appears to him and gives him all sorts of new technology. This time, among other innovations, it is anticipated that Jobs will unveil a tablet written by the very hand of the creator. Jobs has already called this “the most important thing I’ve ever done”

Tech geeks haven’t been this stoked since Princess Leia donned a string bikini and dog collar for Jabba the Hut! They spent the night camped outside the San Francisco event waiting to witness history, passing the time with arguments about the exact dimensions and capabilities of Nebula-class starships.

Doonesbury has labeled the new device the “Jesus tablet” because its followers believe it can do miracles, heal the sick, and raise the dead.

Tomorrow, we enter the final frontier. It promises to be the greatest day since…

Thomas Edison illuminated the light bulb…

Alexander Graham Bell summoned Watson on the first telephone…

or James A. Dewar squeezed cream filling into the first Twinkie!!!

And the best part: I am only 3 or 4 years away from having whatever it is they roll out. I’m so excited!