My 2nd annual awesome gift guide

I don’t have a lot of gift giving to do this year. And while that would normally be a wonderful thing, I gotta say that I enjoy online shopping a lot more than I ever liked traipsing through mall parking lots and actual stores.  There’s just something about shopping in your skivvies with glass of wine in hand.

Last year I did a last minute holiday gift guide. And although I wasn’t necessarily looking to do another, as I’ve been traveling the cyber highways and byways, I’ve found a few corners of awesomeness on the Interweb. I have no one to buy them for, but maybe you do. Thus, I give you the 2nd Annual Carpetbaggery Gift Guide, this year, categorized and all for under $50!

TECH GADGETS

Tired of risking a brain tumor every time you have to talk on your cell phone. Why not go retro and plug in that 1970s style handset?

Sweet, right? You can get them here at Native Union.

Or, what if about those crazies who like to go out and run in cold temperatures. How are they supposed to bundle up and listen to tunes as they pound the pavement? Bam!

Presenting the 180s Tec Fleece headphone. They come in a variety of colors, as long as the color you want is black. And they come in various sizes, as long as the size you want is Men’s One Size.

And what about that germaphobe? Glad you asked. I give you the washable computer keyboard. Also  appropriate for the klutz who has a tendency to knock over any beverage in close proximity to a computer.

It’s from Logitech and is NOT dishwasher safe. FYI.

And my last tech item is for that person who has one foot in the tech world and the other in the back woods.

These iPhone 4 cases are made out of hand crafted walnut or bamboo and they scratch and moisture resistant. Just the thing for the wired woodsman. They also make them for iPads.

GAMES

Tired of being at yet another party where they are playing Apples to Apples or Trivial Pursuit? Who’s the bomb at your next party when you break out this bad boy?

That’s right. SNL, the game. You’ll clean up because you know your obscure cast members, from Beth Cahill to Laura Kightlinger. You also know your Toonces from your Coneheads.

But if you are looking for more of a first-person shooter game, here’s your baby.

Handmade from the branches of a Buckthorn bush, this baby will knock squirrels off the bird feeder and slay the occasional giant. Beware though… you’ll put your eye out, kid.

Weird

This has zero practical purpose (unless you consider a paper weight to have a practical purpose) but it is an F-bomb.

It’s from Uncommon Goods and made from recycled steel. Sure to lighten the mood the next time you have to drop the truth on somebody.

Remember, fungus is the gift that keeps on giving.

So, why not get that special somebody a mushroom kit. See it grow? It’s really fun for the whole family. It grows up to 1.5 lbs. of pearl mushrooms and the Website says that even a toddler can do it. And if you are getting mushrooms for your toddler, shame on you!

Next, I’m not a cat man, but if I had one, I think I’d name him P-Kitty and give him one of these…

Is this not the world’s coolest scratching post? That kitteh is my dogg!

Food and mood

Here’s just the thing to turn a bottle of wine into a romantic environment. Oh, behave!

These wine bottle candelabras come in a variety of styles.  You can get them for votive and tapers. These are from HomeWetBar.com, which has some awesome stuff I never knew I’ve always needed. I now feel the need to constantly walk around the house shaking one of those Boston Martini Shakers. I don’t even care if I drink it; it’s just so freakin’ cool.

And for your grill guy, he may have an awesome unit, but is he prepared for the all-important Winter grilling season?

Grilling in the winter means grilling in the dark. How come grills don’t come with lights like this? Well, now you can add them. They are LED and awesome. Plus, you can read whilst you grill. Leo Tolstoy and a nice sirloin. Mmmmmm.

To set the right mood at your next dinner party or soiree, I have no idea what these are, but they are kind of cool.

This is the same technology as is used for the Bat signal! But it’s a tree! At $50 bucks a pop, you could create a little forest for only $250!

The Absurd

I’m pretty sure that my father once warned me that there are the girls who wear wine rack cooler bras with an attached straw and then there are the girls who don’t.

It might be refreshing on a hot summer day, but not in the winter, right?

And for the person who has everything, why not a can of fresh Paris air?

It also comes in Rome, London, Prague, and Vatican City. (They certify that all the cans are definitely NOT filled in the parking lot of a Youngstown, Ohio, Home Depot.) If this interests you I have a bridge to sell you, or a pocket full of dreams!

And finally, some ideas are so genius, they make so much sense, that they need no further explanation.

You’re welcome. Now get shopping.