Strange things are afoot at the Circle K

I love this map, although it also has been called “the saddest map in America.” It is the result of a scholarly study (Psychology Today, people!) of Craigslist “missed connections.” That’s where some poor soul sees “the one” across a crowded room — or train, or supermarket, or Walmart deodorant aisle — only to see them slip away without a connection being made. Then, said person goes on Craigslist to pine for them. It’s the cyber equivalent of howling at the moon.

Does this ever work? It must, considering how many people are posting about them.

It’s just that I can’t see some girl rushing home and thinking, Hmm, that dude who works at the dry cleaners gave me a look. Could that have been love? Maybe he’ll write about it on Craigslist!

They look something like this…

Oh Train Girl. Kind of poetic but also pathetic in a poor-melancholy-hipster kind of way. These things used to provide grist for great songs. Now, they just lead to a lonely cyber posting.

Among other things, this study identified the places in each state most likely to be the venue for this lost opportunity. Check it…

We here in the Keystone State are one of only two states in the nation where you are most likely to see that lost love in the convenience store. So, when you’re in line to buy that moon pie or pepperoni roll, that person next to you with the Slim Jim and Mountain Dew might be a keeper! I can attest, when it comes to marriage, there’s nothing like having something in common to keep the home fires burning. The map is a little hard to read, but it looks like it’s us and Delaware that searches for love in the aisles of the Circle K.

There are a couple of other trends here….

♥ I’m kind of surprised that only three states see their lost loves in bars. (Of course, Wisconsin.) I blame this on the national takeover of Walmart. I’m thinking that a lot of those southern states go “bar” if they weren’t so busy shopping for pants with an elastic waistband under the big, yellow smiley face.

♥ Not surprised that Georgia is “the car.” That’s all because of Atlanta, believe me.

♥ Illinois (aka, Chicago) is “the train.” That, too, is a no-brainer. And New York, “the Subway.” (Not the foot-long variety.)

♥ Kudos to South Carolina on being the only “football game” state.

♥ And how about a blast from the past: Oklahomans may be the most awesome because they find love at the State Fair. “It may just be the funnel cakes and pickles on a stick talking, but would you make me the happiest cowboy in Muskogee County by saying you’ll spend the rest of your life dodging tornadoes with me ?” Awesome.

♥ Arizonians go to LA Fitness; Californians, not so much. And how about Virginia for jumping on the health club train?

♥ Indiana. “At home.” Really? You see love in your own home and they get away? First of all, shouldn’t that be Tennessee or Kentucky? And second, what do they do, run away? I’m confused.

♥ I thought Pennsylvania’s was depressing, but folks in Rhode Island see their lost loves in parking lots. They’re not charging you money for that love, are they?

♥ In Utah, I figure all those Mormons get married in college, so that makes sense.

♥ And Kansas… “McDonald’s”? Come on, you’re better than that.

Well, I’m probably a good twenty years beyond being in this group, but here’s a little advice. Try a church. That’s where I found my keeper. And I didn’t have to go home moaning about it on Craigslist.

Or just keep doing what you’re doing. It’s incredibly entertaining for the rest of us.