How Obama has made Pittsburgh sad

This is Peggy Noonan. She is a conservative columnist with the Wall Street Journal. She is probably best known as one of Ronald Reagan’s chief speech writers. She wrote some of his best stuff. Her speech following the Challenger disaster made artful use of a poem by John Magee, which said that they “slipped the surly bonds of earth… and touched the face of God.” That speech is considered to be one of the top ten political speeches in U.S. history.

Later, she worked for George H. W. Bush, for whom she coined the phrases “a kinder, gentler nation” and “a thousand points of light.” Dana Carvey should be endorsing his SNL royalty checks over to her. But then she also wrote a speech for Bush with the memorable phrase “read my lips: no new taxes,” a moment that is credited for him becoming a one-term president. Today, besides her WSJ column, she mainly just appears on cable news programs to spout conservative attacks on Obama.

Well, Internet, last week, Ms. Noonan was in Pittsburgh for some reason, and, according to her column, she wasn’t impressed. Granted, it doesn’t seem as though she ever ventured beyond the airport hotel, but that was enough for Peggy to conclude that the Obama administration has made Pittsburgh sad.

I’m in Pittsburgh, making my way to the airport hotel. The people movers are broken and we pull our bags along the dingy carpet. There’s an increasing sense in America now that the facades are intact but the machinery inside is broken.

Exhibit A of how sad Obama has made us.

Now, apparently, it is Obama’s fault that the Pittsburgh Airport carpets are dingy. Can he get on that? Oh, and Lord Almighty, a people-mover was not working, meaning that Peggy Noonan had to walk her fat arse all the way to baggage claim with the great unwashed.

(**Sidebar: Peggy Noonan is not “fat.” But come on, about half of those things seem to be in operation at every airport in America, not to mention the finest Las Vegas hotel/casinos. Deal with it. Grab your roller and hoof it, like we all used to do during the Reagan years!**)

And besides, has she ever been to JFK Airport in her fair city? I have. That worn-out Petri dish of filth makes the Pittsburgh Airport look like the freakin’ Taj Mahal.

When she finally arrived at the Hyatt Regency, she seemed put out that there was…

…no information desk, no doorman, no bellman or concierge, just two harried-looking workers at a front desk on the second level.

Now, admittedly, I’m just a carpetbagger in this fair city. I’m wasn’t here for the glory days of the Reagan administration when the Pittsburgh airport hotel was bustling with eager young bellmen in their crisp uniforms, a helpful concierge who could get you into any club in the greater Moon area, or the regal doorman who stood dutifully between the airport and the hotel, ready with white-gloved hands to save you from having to sully your hands on the brass handled doors.

Pittsburgh Airport hotel during the Reagan administration.

Ah, once you hit the breathtaking lobby, your feet would never hit the floor as they gently swept you to your room while singing several choruses of “Be Our Guest.” Or, there were the days when Andy Warhol and Andrew Carnegie could both be spotted in the hotel lobby, drinking cognac and smoking fine cigars with the fashionable crowd as they all waited for their American Eagle flight to Louisville. Ah, the salad days of Pittsburgh in the mind of an elite conservative.

How far Obama has let us fall. Dingy airport carpets. Broken moving sidewalks. No doorman or bellmen. For God’s sake, no concierge! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Obama’s America.

But Peggy’s long, harried nightmare was nowhere near over.

The man who checked me in put his phones on hold when I asked for someone to accompany me upstairs. As we walked to the room I felt I should explain. I told him a trial attorney had told me a while back that there are more lawsuits involving hotels than is generally known, and more crime, so always try to have someone with you when you first go to your room. I thought the hotel clerk would pooh-pooh this. Instead he said, “That’s why we just put up mirrors at each end of the hall, so you can see if someone’s coming.”

A national treasure like Peggy Noonan has needs! There has to be 24/7 security because of all the, you know, crime happening at the airport Hyatt Regency. The roving gangs of Montour thugs have forced the hotel to put up crime mirrors, for God’s sake. Not to make the place look bigger. Not to reflect light down the hallways. Not to provide business travelers with a quick glance to make sure they are looking their best. No, it’s because of the stalking hoards of Hyatt Regency muggers, out to get Peggy Noonan.

What that hotel looked like is America without its muscle, its efficiency, its old confidence.

Well, I’d say that if our hotels need crime mirrors, we’re obviously not lacking for muscle. But I’m not sure that airport hotels have ever been America’s model of efficiency and confidence. I always thought them to be a place for weary business layovers, Amway conventions, drunken flight crew affairs, and readily available prostitution. Peggy remembers them as the Great Gatsby meets Monte Carlo. Tomato, tomahto.

She claims that Obama is the reason that the Pittsburgh Airport Hyatt Regency isn’t hiring all the hotel staff that would make Peggy’s stay more accommodating. Then, she says this….

Meanwhile, the president is stuck in his games and his history. He should have seen unemployment entering a crisis stage four years ago, and he did not. At that time I was certain he’d go for public-works projects, which could give training to the young and jobs to the experienced underemployed, would create jobs in the private sector and, in the end, yield up something needed—a bridge, a strengthened power grid. He instead gave his first term to health care. And now ObamaCare is being cited as a reason employers are laying people off and not hiring, according to a report from the Federal Reserve.

She is really disappointed that President Obama has not done some sort of government spending jobs program to get her the hotel attention she deserves. Big, mean ObamaCare is keeping all those bellmen, doormen, and concierges out of work. Stupid people who want to see doctors!

And! How about her admission that an Obama job training program would “create jobs in the private sector”!? Pundit say what?! Government? Creates jobs? Somewhere, Rush Limbaugh’s beeper just went off as William F. Buckley rolled over in his grave.

Okay, I’m not gonna say that this is just another limousine elite conservative with caviar tastes and both selective and creative memories of the past… wait, hell yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Hey, Peggy. I hope you enjoyed speaking at that Amway Convention. Next time, feel free to venture beyond the Robinson Mall and discover why Pittsburgh is doing just fine, thank you very much. And you might be surprised to find sympathetic ears for your proposed government jobs program. That sounds like a really good idea. We’ve got plenty of bridges and power grids. Let’s do it! Just don’t try peddling that stuff around Congress. They will put you on a people-mover right out of town.