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A couple of cousins, a car, some smoked meat, and a dream

O West Virginia… is there no end to the enjoyment you give to the rest of the world?

Cousins busted with carload of stolen beef jerky

Friday, February 18, 2011

The Associated Press

SOMERSET, Pa. — Two West Virginia cousins have been jailed after Pennsylvania State Police say they were stopped with a carload of stolen beef jerky and tool sets the men were selling for gas money.

Michael Graham, 37, and John Barry, 35, both of Milton, W.Va., were pulled over in Somerset Wednesday evening because their license plate was dangling from their car.

Police say in an affidavit they saw “a large amount of boxed and packaged beef jerky” and socket sets on the car’s rear seat. Police say the cousins acknowledged stealing the items from auto parts stores and gas stations — and were trying to sell the items for gas money to get to Westmoreland County.

(emphasis mine)

These boys had a dream… a dream that promised to take them from West Virginia all the way to Westmoreland County. And as we all know, dreams don’t come cheap. You gotta count the cost. It might mean moving some smoked meat on the street. If only those boys had used the socket set to reattach that license plate, their dream might have been a reality.

You can take the boy out of West Virginia…

Let’s face it. Alcohol and kickers just don’t mix. In Pittsburgh, we have become painfully aware of this by watching the various exploits of Jeff Reed, including the three rounds he went with a Get n’ Go paper towel dispenser. But it’s not just here. Who can forget Colts’ kicker Mike Vanderjagt? Okay, we’ve pretty much forgotten him. But who can forget how he criticized coach Dungy and quarterback Peyton Manning? This led Manning to call him “our idiot kicker who got liquored up and ran his mouth off. The sad thing is, he’s a good kicker. He’s a good kicker, but he’s an idiot.”

Now we have yet another “liquored up” kicker in the Colt locker room. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you former West Virginia Mountaineer Pat McAfee. Prepare for awesomeness.

According to reports, a drunk, wet, and shirtless McAfee was arrested early this morning for public intoxication after he reportedly took a pre-dawn swim in a canal in a nightlife district. The Colts say they are not commenting until they gather the relevant facts. Here are some relevant facts, according to police:

Fact 1: Wait a minute… Indianapolis has a nightlife district??

Fact 2:  Police were first called after a driver stopped at a red light reported that a man with no shirt approached her car. The woman said she feared the man was going to try to get in the car, so she ran the red light and called 911 to report the suspicious person. Police may have responded, “Relax, ma’am. It’s just a kicker. He’s harmless.” But that can’t be confirmed at this time.

Fact 3:  Officers asked McAfee if he had been swimming in the canal and he said “I am not sure.”

Fact 4:  They asked him how he got wet and he said it had been raining. Then, he told officers that his shirt was “in the water.”

Fact 5:  Police asked McAfee how much he had to drink. He answered, “A lot cause I am drunk.” Tests later revealed he was at twice the legal limit.

Fact 6:  McAfee told police that he was waiting for a friend to get him and added that he planned to take a taxi home. Then, he asked if he could walk home. That’s when the cuffs came out.

Oh kickers. Is there no mischief you can’t get into? Colts officials should have fun today with their fact gathering. The rest of us are just wildly entertained. Now, the NFL can get back to fining its players for, you know, playing football.

It just makes you [sic]

Almost heven, West Virginia

In their defense, WVU’s English majors probably did not get final say over that sign. Still… you’d think one person somewhere along the line would have raised a hand at some point. Even the printer let them have their say.

It also makes you wonder about Channel 4. Did they put that on their Website because they didn’t catch the mistake? Or, did they plant their tongues firmly in their cheeks and throw the Mountaineers under the grammar bus? They’ll never tell, but I’m okay with it, either way. That’s what we get for all this Twittering. The original sign probably read: “Welcm home. U R R Champs!” This was considered a major revision.

(h/t Mondesi’s House)

Raising the Steaks [sic]

How ’bout this item in the Post-Gazette about the unofficial Pirates’ team meeting Thursday night? I love this.

The veteran newcomers to the Buccos are quickly establishing some leadership. Ryan Church, Bobby Crosby, Octavio Dotel, and Brendan Donnelly got all the players together at a Philadelphia steakhouse and had what I like to call a “come to Jesus meeting.”  The discussion was about how best to change the team’s attitude and approach after the meaningless (see my previous post) 17-year streak of losing seasons. Players got up and spoke and cleared the air.

According to Ryan Church: “We brought everybody together and talked about, ‘Why not? Why not this year? Let’s just change. Change it.’ I think a lot of people in here really looked in the mirror.”

“That was a great meeting,” shortstop Ronny Cedeno said. “Now, we’ve got a different attitude. I’m so glad that we have Dotel, Church, Crosby, Donnelly here. They’ve got a lot of time in the big leagues. If we just stay together and do everything with the same attitude we did today, we’ve got a good team and can surprise a lot of people.”

Now, that’s what I’m talking about.

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